If only sex were like the movies. The transition between fully clothed and naked would be seamless, it would go on all night and nothing embarrassing would ever happen.
Unfortunately however, this is real life, and for all its good moments, sex has some huge potential to go wrong. Next time you find yourself up against a new partner, keep an eye out for these schoolboy errors, and be prepared to give them the heave ho if they’re a repeat offender.
Not setting the scene
Everything is going well and you’re just about ready to take that next step with your beau – what could possibly go wrong? Well, he could have the bedroom of a teenage boy for a start. If there are more unwashed clothes and dirty dishes on the floor than there is floor, it can be a pretty big turn off. An uncomfortable bed is a no-no too – suggest they head to Bedstar if their love nest is more of a hay bale than a mattress.
Skipping to the end
What was that famous line in American Pie? “You’ve got to pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!” This is sadly one that men fall all too foul of, particularly if they’ve had a few drinks. If all it takes for them to get warmed up is a few kisses and a quick feel of your curvy bits, that’s great news for them but it will probably be a bit harder for you. Slow things down and make sure he focuses on your needs.
Moving too fast
Once you’re actually in ‘the moment’, what’s attractive about someone who imitates a jackhammer? Slow and steady wins the race, and while we all want a quick and animal session every now and then, nothing says inexperienced like someone who’s trying their best Mo Farah impression. Tell him to slow down or get on top and let your hips do the talking.
Not using protection
This is a tricky subject for even the most liberal of love makers. If you’re going for it with someone new for the first time, it’s very unlikely you’ll be having a chat beforehand to go through your previous sexual partners. Even so, it’s very off-putting and indeed ungentlemanly for a man to assume that his partner has contraceptive methods of her own, so make sure you’re always in control and equipped before you get jiggy.
So a booty call might not exactly be the perfect situation to expect post-coital cuddles, but is there anything more embarrassing than a man who falls asleep immediately afterwards? If you’re on a date and think it might go particularly well, consider saying yes to that post-dinner coffee.